Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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