I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
