remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
