Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
