matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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