My liver just broke up with me...
I wish i was in the wii world.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
