I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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