there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
