She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
