And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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