how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
