new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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