3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
