Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
