At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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