I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I could fuck to npr.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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