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i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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