he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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