the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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