I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It all started with a game of naked twister.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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