I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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