Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
