I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize