belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
