You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
