Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
