Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
