I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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