Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
