I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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