What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
