ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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