Moan for me like Helen Keller
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
