I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Apparently you make a good broom.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
