Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
