After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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