I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
