the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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