I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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