Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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