Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
