they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
