sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
where does the pee come out of this thing
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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