Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I think i got beer on your cat.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
