im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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