Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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