...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
