please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
