HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
