She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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