he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
