sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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