he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
