first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
