What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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