break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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