Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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