Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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