Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
