No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
