whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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