you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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