Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
