u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
