In the future we'll all be gay
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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