there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
