his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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