You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize