why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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