# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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