Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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