i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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