It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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