Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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